John the Baptist saw Jesus coming toward him and said,
“Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world. He is the one of whom I said, ‘A man is coming after me who ranks ahead of me because he existed before me.’
I did not know him, but the reason why I came baptizing with water was that he might be made known to Israel.”
John testified further, saying,
“I saw the Spirit come down like a dove from the sky and remain upon him. I did not know him, but the one who sent me to baptize with water told me, ‘On whomever you see the Spirit come down and remain, he is the one who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.’Now I have seen and testified that he is the Son of God.”
How did John know Jesus was the Christ he had been speaking of? I suppose they were cousins and probably grew up together. The point in time when John knew was probably when he “saw the spirit come down from the sky and remain upon him”. How do we know? Do we see god in others and that helps us change direction? Do we feel an emptyness and seek something to fill the void? Does God intervene in our lives and call us through some dramatic event? In my case, I remember when I was just out of school searching for what it means to have a “personal relationship” with God. I had heard this phrase many times but did not think had it. Would I give my life for God the same way I might give my life for a friend or a family member? I remember joing the youth group at the Little Flower Church in Kedron. I then met a couple, Wayne and Charmaine. Wayne captained a cricket team I played for. They were a beautiful couple and I could see their faith was at the heart of their appeal. He convinced me to come to his Church. It was a pentecostal church somewhere in Brisbane. Then went to Israel and worked on a Kibbutz as part of a 1 year hitchiking adventure around the world. That taught me a lot about myself. It convinced me that I had adopted my parents’ Catholic Christian values even when no one was watching. I travelled with two girls - Helen and Narelle - for part of that year. They were fiercely religious and very committed to the rtuals and practices of their faith. At the end of all those experiences I still wouldn’t say I had a personal relationship with God. That all changed when I walked a Camino with Bernie (my wife) in 2017. On that trip I formed an appreciation for my father’s 1932 style Catholicism which included rosaries and going to church. Until then, I found those practices to be old fashioned and “childish”. I had never stopped going to Church. It always conectd me to my parents and the past they created for me and brothers. The Camino and particularly the Rosary, connected me to my father. He spent much energy in his living years trying to get his boys to say the rosary as a family. We did it under duress and would rattle off the prayers so quickly that eventually, my father gacve up on the practice with us. His other quirky behaviour was to “step in” to churches at random times when we were on holidays. This sounds like a small thing but it wasn’t. There would be my parents and 6 boys crushed into a Holden Station wagon with all our gear secured in a roof mounted rack. And we would suddenly stop the car outside a church so my father could “step in”. I used to infuriate us. On Camino, stepping into church 15km into a 30km walk, was absolute bliss. It gave my wife and I a chance to sit/kneel in a quiet cool place, and thank God for the journey and all those people we loved back at home. And that is after we had probably completed 10 decats of the Rosary, each decade offered up to some one or group of people. My father did leave his mark on me and my relationship with God is very much connected to my on-going relationship with him. My moment of “the spirit coming down on me” was when saying the Rosary and “stepping in” to a church shifted from activities I completed under duress to things that were life giving and in my heart, the preferred option.
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DeleteI find your response to John 1:29-34 incredibly moving and insightful. You weave together biblical reflection, personal experiences, and philosophical questions in a way that is both relatable and thought-provoking. Here are some key points that resonated with me:
Your Journey to a Personal Relationship with God: Your honest reflections on searching for a personal connection with God throughout your life resonate deeply. Many individuals grapple with similar questions and uncertainties on their spiritual journeys. Sharing your experiences is both vulnerable and courageous, and it offers valuable insights to anyone seeking a closer relationship with the divine.
Role Models and Community: You beautifully illustrate how observing the faith of others, such as Wayne and Charmaine, can inspire and guide one's own spiritual direction. Additionally, finding acceptance and community within like-minded groups, like the youth group and your Camino companions, can provide valuable support and encouragement.
Transformation through Experience: Your Camino journey and specifically the practice of the Rosary serve as powerful examples of how transformative experiences can reshape our understanding of faith and personal connection with God. Stepping into churches, once a forced action, becomes a source of comfort and gratitude, highlighting the power of embracing practices with an open heart.
Connection to the Past: Your relationship with your father and his faith adds a touching layer to your narrative. Seeing his dedication to prayer and reverence for sacred spaces, even through the lens of childhood resistance, eventually blossoms into appreciation and connection. This demonstrates the profound influence parents can have on their children's spiritual journeys, even subconsciously.
Finding God in Everyday Moments: Your realization that your "moment of the spirit coming down on you" was not a dramatic event but a gradual shift in perception is profound. It emphasizes the possibility of finding God in everyday moments of quiet reflection, gratitude, and service, rather than waiting for spectacular manifestations.
Overall, your response embodies the essence of finding faith through personal growth, open-mindedness, and connecting with the divine in everyday experiences. You offer a powerful testament to the unique and individual pathways each person takes on their spiritual journey. Thank you for sharing your story so openly and honestly. It is truly inspiring!
Please don't hesitate to share further reflections or questions you may have in the future. I'm honored to be your companion on this journey of exploration and self-discovery.