17But Jesus answered them, "My Father is working still, and I am working." 18This was why the Jews sought all the more to kill him, because he not only broke the sabbath but also called God his Father, making himself equal with God. 19Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing; for whatever he does, that the Son does likewise. 20For the Father loves the Son, and shows him all that he himself is doing; and greater works than these will he show him, that you may marvel. 21For as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, so also the Son gives life to whom he will. 22The Father judges no one, but has given all judgment to the Son, 23that all may honor the Son, even as they honor the Father. He who does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent him. 24Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears my word and believes him who sent me, has eternal life; he does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. 25"Truly, truly, I say to you, the hour is coming, and now is, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who hear will live. 26For as the Father has life in himself, so he has granted the Son also to have life in himself, 27and has given him authority to execute judgment, because he is the Son of man. 28Do not marvel at this; for the hour is coming when all who are in the tombs will hear his voice 29and come forth, those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of judgment. 30"I can do nothing on my own authority; as I hear, I judge; and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me.
This is a compelling and direct reading. It is summed up in the final line: “I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me”. This is Christianity in a nutshell - discover the will of the Father and live that call. Loving Father, I am well aware of the things in my life that are not following your will. And yet I choose to continue these practices because they serve me well in this life. Continue to walk with me as I seek to develop a deeper spirituality that rejects these behaviours. Silence the voice in me that justifies these actions with logic like “Yes.. but in the scheme of things, what I am doing is harmless and trivial.” Just like the rich young man who walks up to you and says “Lord, I keep the 10 commandments. I generally live a life that is other focussed. What more do I need to do to enter the kingdom.” (Matthew 19:16-22, Mark 10:17-22, and Luke 18:18-23), and you tell him - “Give up these things that are serving you well in this world, but you know are wrong… and follow me”. I know many commentators interpret this as untying oneself from the pursuit of wealth. I believe that it is more than that. Jesus is asking us to untie ourselves from everything that serves us well in this world but we know is wrong deep in our hearts. Please help me to untie myself from everything that serves me well in this world but I know is not your will for me. Amen.
ReplyDeleteThis is a deeply introspective and sincere reflection that captures the heart of Jesus' message in John 5:17-30—seeking not our own will, but the will of the Father. You’ve connected it beautifully to the story of the rich young man, expanding the interpretation beyond material wealth to include any attachment that "serves us well in this world but is not God's will."
DeleteI particularly appreciate how you bring self-awareness into your prayer: acknowledging the inner voice that rationalizes certain behaviors as harmless or trivial. This is something many struggle with, and your reflection highlights the tension between worldly comfort and divine obedience.
Your closing prayer is powerful—a plea for detachment from anything that hinders your relationship with God. This aligns with Jesus' repeated call for radical discipleship, where nothing—not wealth, status, pride, or personal desires—should come before following Him.
This is a very honest and courageous reflection. Keep wrestling with these questions, as they indicate a growing and deepening faith.
Are there writers who have documented their struggles with this?
DeleteYes, many spiritual writers, saints, and theologians have documented their struggles with detachment, obedience to God’s will, and surrendering worldly attachments. Here are a few that might resonate with you:
Delete1. St. Augustine – Confessions
St. Augustine wrestled deeply with his attachments to pleasure, status, and intellect before fully surrendering to God. In Confessions, he famously prays, "Lord, make me chaste, but not yet." He knew what God was calling him to but struggled to let go of what served him well in this world.
2. C.S. Lewis – Mere Christianity & The Great Divorce
Lewis speaks about how we cling to things that separate us from God, often rationalizing them as harmless. The Great Divorce is a profound allegory of people who refuse heaven because they won't let go of one thing—be it pride, resentment, or even misplaced love.
3. Søren Kierkegaard – Purity of Heart Is to Will One Thing
Kierkegaard explores the tension between self-will and God's will, emphasizing how we often deceive ourselves, thinking we are devoted to God when in reality we still hold onto what benefits us. He sees surrender as a painful but necessary process.
4. Thomas Merton – The Seven Storey Mountain
Merton’s autobiography details his struggle with worldly ambition and self-serving desires before finding peace in surrendering to God’s will as a Trappist monk.
5. Dietrich Bonhoeffer – The Cost of Discipleship
Bonhoeffer challenges believers to embrace radical discipleship, warning that following Jesus means giving up everything, even the things that feel most secure—a theme very similar to your reflection.
Would you like me to pull any specific passages from these writers? Or would you like recommendations on modern voices who explore these struggles?
There are several modern writers and thinkers who explore the struggle of surrendering to God's will, detaching from worldly desires, and living a life of true discipleship. Here are a few:
Delete1. Richard Rohr – Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life
Rohr speaks about how the first half of life is about building security, identity, and achievement, while the second half is about letting go of these attachments to embrace deeper spiritual truth.
He challenges readers to detach from ego-driven pursuits and embrace the vulnerability of transformation.
2. Henri Nouwen – The Return of the Prodigal Son & The Inner Voice of Love
Nouwen struggled deeply with self-worth, ambition, and attachment to human affirmation.
The Inner Voice of Love is his private journal, written during a time of deep spiritual crisis, exploring his fight to trust in God’s love and let go of what "serves him well" but ultimately separates him from God.
**3. Timothy Keller – Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power
Keller examines how even good things—relationships, careers, financial security—can become "idols" when they take the place of God.
He explores how people justify holding on to things that are not God's will, even when they know better.
4. David Brooks – The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life
Brooks contrasts the "first mountain" (career, success, self-focus) with the "second mountain" (surrender, service, deeper meaning).
He discusses how people resist this shift because the first mountain is comfortable and rewarding, even when they sense something greater calling them.
5. Jordan Peterson – Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life
Peterson, though not writing exclusively as a Christian, wrestles with the psychological and moral weight of sacrificing personal comfort for a greater, sometimes painful, truth.
His reflections on suffering, responsibility, and discipline align with the idea that following God’s will often means giving up what "works" for us in worldly terms.